In consideration of the myriad challenges to having an enriching and enduring relationship, it seems practically oxy moronic to use “healthy, romantic and relationship” in the same context.
As a human relations expert, I am often asked, “Is it possible to have an “ideal relationship / mate?” The desire to have that special someone who compliments, comforts and fulfills us is a fundamental human need. In pursuit of the desire for intimate emotional connection, the primary focus tends to be placed on identifying the qualities that an “ideal mate” must have in order to be acceptable to us. This approach often results in disillusionment, disappointment and resentment. The truth is, the onus for having a healthy relationship should not be focused on a potential mate, it actually relies on you being a healthier you.
Having healthier relationships is one of key elements to having a centered, balanced and well-adjusted life. Being clear about what you want in a romantic relationship has to be seen through the spectrum of what you offer that facilitates having and maintaining a functional, fulfilling relationship. Therefore, taking an honest inventory of yourself is essential.
In order to have a healthier, happier and more harmonious relationship you must be willing to be the partner that you desire to have.
Are you willing and able to apply these Six Guiding Principles…..
© Understand & respond as best you can, to your mate’s needs.
© Never be disrespectful or dismissive of your mates or your own feelings.
© Initiate attention, affection and apologies.
© Tell the truth! Loving truthfulness builds trust and togetherness.
© Enjoy each other. Do fun things together. Laugh with one another…often.
© Do not hold grudges! Forgiveness is the cornerstone of lasting relationships.
Remember that the best relationships are never stagnant. They are a succession of ever-changing, progressively-developing personal encounters. There will be times of great challenge in every relationship. By responding in an appropriate, constructive way, naturally occurring conflicts will not be an obstacle but an opportunity.
During times of conflict, it is important to focus on the issue(s) at hand. Most importantly, understand that your mate is not your enemy! It is easy to turn on one another especially when both of you are charged with emotion. Anger and hurt are extremely deceptive and distortive. Give yourself a moment to calm down you. When the atmosphere is calm, you will see things from a different, more accurate point of view.
Take the initiative to embrace unity, resist divisiveness and seek points-of-agreement so that you and your partner can enjoy the healthy, gift of love that you have in one another.